A post since forever.

A post since forever.

There are times when all I want to do is just lie down in bed and catch up with a good book and awesome music. Lately, I just noticed that I still want to do the same but more settled. I start to want a partner in crime when it comes to shopping, thrift store huntings and nature exploring. I start wanting a partner when I start my quest in food and bargain-hunting. In short, I yearn to have a significant other. 

After so many failed relationships, I start to evaluate what is it that I actually want in life. Do I really need to be attached to be happy or do my happiness depends on others? The answer is no. I start to be more comfortable in being alone. Doing my daily chores like grocery shopping, house cleaning and even wool-gathering, alone. That, scares me. I am completely at home without the hustle and bustle of company. I tend to void events or invites to gatherings or weddings. I start to feel that people are such a nuisance. Scary, right?

But, actually no. It is not like that. Nowadays, I just tend to chose my company more selectively. I only choose to be around people who are more positive on their take on life. Not the people who condemn people simply because that person is different. I shy away from people who steps on people to get up, who stabs friends when they are no longer useful or family that are just for family sake. I do understand that blood is indeed thicker than water. But, some family members are just not meant to be a significant person in our lives. Yes, that indeed sounds cruel. I am just plain tired to entertain too many dictations of how my life evolves around them and how my every move effects them when they don't.

So, plain and simple. I do yearn for company. I am a tad bit lonely. I have been living on my own for almost 10 years now. After so many failed relationships and forced interactions, I just felt that I am better off alone. Only that I am more selective now. I am starting to appreciate "me" time more than I used to. I start to love doing things on my own. I started to learn how to take care of my car and myself better now. I am getting a pet. I am moving house soon and I am hoping that all this will equal to a better me and a better environment for me to grow.