Unsaid words

Before you read on, bear in mind that these are my ramblings. They are not necessarily true.

As I held his face in my palm, my heart quivers. All the words I wished I could say, all the heartfelt words that I held in me.

These are those words:

"I love you. And I wished that all the words I heard from you are true as I do not know. As I held you, I wished for a thousand wishes but none like this. I hope that you will hear and read these words for I will never speak of them to anyone. Not to you, even not to myself. Dearest love, I've wished that you will be my last love. That one day, I can call you mine. Truly mine. That there will be no one who will held my hand and be the reason behind my every smile, every laugh and behind every touch. If all of this is just a lie, all I wish for is, please pretend awhile longer. Please wait for me to gain my composure. Please wait for me to be fully up again before you walk away. What ever that others can do, can never compare to what you can and may do: you can leave me. Like many others who promised. You can walk away and leave me broken and hurt, just like others. 

My dear, there are no words that I can say everytime I see you soundly asleep. As I see you smile, I prayed hard that I am the reason behind that smile and that I will always be the only reason. As i felt your hand encircle my waist, I thought hard, how long will this remain until your attention is diverted elsewhere? How long will this bliss remain intact before we fell apart. Fear, my love, has been a close feiend of mine since I have you. 

Please stay. I'll do what ever it takes. Please stay. Because if you go, I don't know if I ever can get up again with a void in my heart and that constant pain as if someone just punched me in the gut. Please stay my dearest."